I read an article recently in the New York Times entitled
"The Education of a President". It was a lengthy article written over the course of several visits with President Obama as he nears the middle point of his administrations first term in office.
Here's a quote:
“I make no apologies for having set high expectations for myself and for the country, because I think we can meet those expectations,” he said. “Now, the one thing that I will say — which I anticipated and can be tough — is the fact that in a big, messy democracy like this, everything takes time. And we’re not a culture that’s built on patience.”
I think we can all relate to impatience. In keeping with our American culture, I confess that I am not a woman of patience either. In some ways I am better than in others. But even as I sit here and contemplate my most recent interactions, I know that I could have spent more time listening than speaking. More time watching then speeding through.
This part of my nature has come out boldly in these past months. I am impatient for community, impatient for better projects at work, impatient for my time here in Galveston to be put to the best and most perfect use at every minute of every day. The Yankee part of me even wants my SLEEP to be productive!
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We've been reading through the book of Hebrews these past couple of months. If you want an exercise in patience read through the first 10 chapters of this book! There is some beautiful, irreplaceable wisdom in this book but WOW. It is super dense.
Chapters 11 and 12 are so timely for me as I really dig into the idea that God exists outside of time. We've all heard it. For the Creator, Yesterday might as well by 1,000 years from now:
By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible...
By faith, Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going.
By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country, he lived in tents as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city with foundations whose architect and builder is God...
By faith Abraham offered Isaac as a sacrifice...,
By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau in regard to their future...,
By faith, Jacob when he was dying blessed each of his sons, and worshipped as he leaned on the top of his staff.
By faith, Moses was hidden...,
By faith, Rahab...
By faith, Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel, the prophets and many women conquered kingdoms, administered justice, were tortured, were blessed, were strengthened, were beaten, wandered...
All were commended for their faith and none of them received what had been promised. For God had planned something better for us so that only together with US would THEY be made perfect,
so that we might inherit an
unshakable kingdom.
Hebrews 11, 12:28 (my translation)
For all of my frustrations and impatience, it strikes me that God is infinitely patient. The writer of Hebrews in this chapter, effectively retraces all of biblical history and suggests that every single follower endured and followed as only a part of the whole picture. Perhaps my year of seeming "loose ends" is equivalent to Sarah's waiting for a son, and Moses' 40 years of wandering, and the Israelites years in captivity. I think about that alot...
40 years of wandering. I might have to invest in some better shoes.
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I read Hebrews and I now know that as I take my place in this redemption story I will not likely inherit, in my time in this world, the glory and joy and peace of the eternal kingdom of God in full. Surely, I will see beautiful glimpses, but a holy humility comes over me as I recognize that I am just one of many characters in God's redemption story. As God is healing me after a painful year, I cling to this knowledge:
"The Lord did not set his affection on you and choose you because you were more numerous than other people. it was because the Lord loved you and kept the oath he swore to your forefathers that he brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the land of slavery, from the power of Pharaoh king of Egypt. Know therefore that the Lord your God is GOD; he is a faithful God keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands." Deuteronomy 5: 7-9
I hope God doesn't mind a bit of a translation from a modern day reader, but in many ways I see this part of God's love letter to the world written especially to me:
Dear Courtney,
I did not set my affection on you and choose you because you are smarter or more beautiful or more talented than others. I chose you because I love you and I am keeping my promise to those who have stepped out in faith before you. I have redeemed you through my Son who takes your years of missing the mark, your endless striving to be good, and nails it to a cross. The power that sin had over you is no more. I slammed the door on it. Know that I am the Lord your God and your Creator. I will always be with you regardless of whether the lamp I place before before you is quite bright or dimly lit. When it gets hard, and you feel like you can't see, know this: I have kept and will continue to keep, my holy promise of love for the thousands upon thousands of people who come to me, trust me, and follow the Way of my Son.
God isn't safe. But He is Good.
I will walk by faith.
