Shivering in the Cold...on a not so Cold Island.

Its Christmas time! Wahoo! I am so thankful for this season even though in many ways I feel like it kind of pounced upon me without warning. Christmas is funny for us around here as by the time the Advent season rolls around we are just turning off the air conditioning and getting used to what it feels like to walk outside and not instantly start sweating. Having moved from a place with seasons I find it harder to get in the spirit when I'm still wearing shorts!

That said, Pandora's "Christmas Radio" has done wonders along with the purchase of our humorously shaped Christmas tree that is now strung with lights, adorned with ornaments and topped with Dingo the Flamingo, back on his Christmas perch.

We had a wonderful November here as we celebrated entry into our 3rd year in Texas. We headed off to Austin again early in the month to visit with friends. John and Suzy Mac came out to see Suzy's brother and we met them there to tour our favorite Texas city again. We had a blast and got to see  a few things that we didnt catch last time we were there; including Lance Armstrong's bike shop! More than anything it was awesome to catch up again with the Suzy and John - two of the warmest/loving human beings that I know.

We also had a visit from my sister, brother in law and nephew for our first Texan Thanksgiving. I have to say...Texan Thanksgivings ROCK. We gathered with friends and enjoyed deep fried turkey with all the fixings. Delicious! Strike the fried turkey off the bucket list!

Its odd with all of these fun happenings that I'm finding myself in the midst of a season of blue. I hesitate to write about it for couple of reasons. One major reason is I am deeply uncomfortable with those who consistently vomit their emotions on those around them. Maybe thats something I need to deal with myself but I'm often curious of people who express their personal frustrations in a continuously public manner. I almost wonder if its a sort of escape from the hard work that perhaps should be done in quiet. (Of course, I am saying all of this on a semi public blog so maybe I should quit pointing the finger while I'm ahead!)

I also don't want it to seem like I am at the bottom of a hopeless barrell and am in need of some sort of intervention. In writing to a friend recently I expressed that this season is actually something I feel I've been led to for a season. Kind of like Moses was led into the wilderness. Lord knows Moses' wilderness was an important part of the story of faith. Maybe mine is too...

All that said, I think theres something to be said for showing vulnerability. In a world that yells at us to "grin and bear it" or drown our pains in the idol of the week, I wonder if sharing and bearing our pains together could bring unity. So, at the risk of being THAT girl, I give you my momentary struggle.

I have slammed into "the wall". I'm shaking off the blow and waiting for God (sometimes yelling at God) to tear the wall down. I'm frustrated because I want to use the skills that I've been given to serve with the greatest capacity. I'm frustrated with the Church in Galveston because I often find its operating on cruise control. I'm frustrated with myself because I've created comfort zones around areas of my life where Christ can't be King, causing my joy to be squelched. I'm exasperated with this city that seems to be run by no less than 30,000 rugged individualists who couldnt collaborate to save their lives much less their city. and because of all this I.AM.SO.FRUSTRATED!

It was a sweet reminder the other day to read David's Psalm and realize that I am not alone. In fact, it seems like misery has some company with a King from a few thousand years ago:

How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?

How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I take counsel in my soul

and have sorrow in my heart all the day?

Psalm 13: 1-2

So its been a season of tears more than anything else as I've realized that, yes, this is indeed a brick wall that I have hit and I am all banged up! But its funny because in some ways it seems somewhat appropriate. I was putting our nativity set out the other day and found myself all teary eyed as I put Mary and Jesus down next to Joseph and the sheep. I didn't completely know where those tears came from until "Do you Hear what I Hear" made its way onto the radio. This carol paints a really beautiful picture of the Christmas story that I never really focused in on all that much until I heard this verse:

"A child, a child, shivers in the cold..."

Suddenly tears were streaming down my face as I remembered that this is the reason that Christianity makes so much sense to me.  In many ways I'm thankful for my tears as I remember the season in my life where my heart was so hard and I thought it was inappropriate to cry. God became flesh and endured our burdens with us. For close to a decade now He's been the only answer to whats broken around me. He shivered, he cried, he got angry. He came as a baby - helpless in every way but for the Spirit of God working through Mary and Joseph who said "Yes."

So, I suppose this is kind of a depressing post - but let me not leave it that way. Not because I am superhuman and overly optimistic but because I know despair is not the end of the Story. Its because of this same Christmas message that I have an unhuman hope and know that I don't have to stew in my blues. My failures, the Church's failures, our city's failures are not the end of the story. Christ makes all things new - and I will plead with him, cry with him, and seek his face so long as he gives me the grace and human breath to do so.

"But there will be no gloom for her who was in anguish...

The people who walked in darkness

have seen a great light;

those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness,

on them has light shined.

You have multiplied the nation;

you have increased its joy;

they rejoice before you

as with joy at the harvest,

as they are glad when they divide the spoil.

For the yoke of his burden,

and the staff for his shoulder,

the rod of his oppressor,

you have broken as on the day of Midian...

For to us a child is born,

to us a son is given;

and the government shall be upon[d] his shoulder,

and his name shall be called

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Of the increase of his government and of peace

there will be no end,

on the throne of David and over his kingdom,

to establish it and to uphold it

with justice and with righteousness

from this time forth and forevermore.

The zeal of the LORD of hosts will do this."

 

Isaiah 9:1-7

Off to the Races

G'day folks!

I am eagerly anticipating the close of this week as these two yankee texans have next week off of work without a thing planned. Wahoo! What shall we do with ourselves?

Here's one thing: Start looking at training plans for our first ever half marathon! How exciting :-) I know, I know - when I first revealed my List I was 100% sure to emphasize that marathons were not in my life plan. No mam. No Sir. This girl might have biked a couple thousand miles in a former lifetime but she has not and likely will not ever get the bug to run 26 miles in a row.

That said, a half marathon is certainly within reach. Even better yet, Sir Andrew, PhD, is game too.

We've been reading this book together over the past couple of weeks that I would love to recommend. We haven't finished it yet but we are already enjoying it. Its called "The Principle of the Path," By Andy Stanley. Now, if you are like me and read this title you will immediately be turned off. Read the back, and you might be turned off even more. The title sings too much of those cheesy self help books. Or, worse yet, one of those awful prosperity band wagons from a couple of years ago like "The Secret". You remember?

"The Secret to life is pure, unbridled optimism. Just say to yourself, there WILL be a parking space at the front of the mall, on a snowy day, 24 hours before Christmas day. Imagine it in your mind and consciously feel your car turning into the space directly in front of Macys. and Voila! it WILL happen"

Barf. I consider myself to be a relatively positive person, but even I know that the Secret to getting a good parking spot on Christmas eve lies only in parking my bum on the couch with a copy of Its a Wonderful Life and a cup of steaming hot chocolate.

For this particular book however, I did keep reading. I have alot of respect for Andy Stanley, the author, and just wanted to make sure he hadn't gone off the deep end. And, despite the title, he hasn't. The book is a walk through a principle that he has discovered as a minister over the past 20 something years. He suggests, that after years of hearing all too many tales of divorce, bankruptcy, broken friendships etc etc., that he has uncovered an underlying life principle that weaves its way through all of them. In fact, this principle, when properly leveraged, can lead us to be people who have wonderful marriages, pristine finances and a plethora of devoted friends.

His principle is this :

Direction, not intention, determines destination.

Think about it. You'll have to buy the book to learn more. Or, if you cozy on up to me I might just lend it to you when we finish. But consider this: People don't wake up one morning and say to themselves "I want to go into financial ruin today" Nor do they stand on the altar of their wedding day and say "I really want to screw this up." But, as we walk through life each day we take steps that lead us on a path. We snap at our spouse. We put it on the credit card even though we don't have the funds to pay it off. We continually ignore the phone call from a friend. add these activities up, day after day and year after year and that puts us on a path financially, relationally, etc. Conversely, if I save money each pay check, eat an apple each day instead of a bag of chips and take the time to call a relative I will likely be on a path in the right direction.
Its common sense, I know, but I never thought about it in this way. I don't intend to be 40 and unhealthy. But if I don't exercise, go for regular check ups, and eat more vegetables than I do chocolate cake, the doctors all guarantee us that I will most likely be seeing them more often than I would like to by the time I reach the big 4-0.

So, it seems we are taking this idea to heart. Its time to put on the running shoes. On November 20th (my 27th birthday, incidentally), Galveston will host its first annual running festival. Some friends have joined us and we are looking forward to getting healthier together. Stay tuned - we'll keep you updated on our progress!

new kicks :-)

My List

So I read a blog recently where a woman details what she calls "Her List". She got the idea from someone else's blog - thus clearly the world of viral idea sharing via the "blog nation" is now a reality for this Yankee Texan blogger too. I thought this was a great idea - how many of us have little things (or big things) in the back of our minds that we so badly want to do but stuff them back down because the often louder voices in our heads suggest that the bank account is not big enough, the dream is too big for my small life, or we just don't have the time.

There are often legitimate reasons not to shoot for the moon in one fell swoop (see $126.32.) but I think its important to dream big. You never know what doors will open up for us to walk through where we might check off some of these boxes along the way.

So here's my list so far. A little intro: I didn't want to just put things on there just for sake of putting another item on there. Like "run a marathon." Yea, thats a pretty big feat...but this is NOT on my life "dream" list. I run to stay in shape. I do not like running dozens upon dozens of miles. I have no desire to run 26.2 miles all at the same time. on the same day. So I just ain't gonna do it, dag nabbit! Running a marathon did not make the cut.

I tried to choose a few things that have been on my heart for sometime, and a few things that I think would be really cool to do. Some of them are long term goals. Some of them are things I could do with relative ease when the opportunity arises or when I choose to make them happen. I may add to this if and when something comes to mind that sticks. I also put a few things that I did in the past on there that were things I really wanted to accomplish and did successfully! Its helpful to look at a list that already has a few check marks on it, doesn't it? :-)

Anyway, I think this is a really good start! It will be fun to update along the way if and when I get things struck off the list.

1. Do a Triathlon May 2010! Combat Triathlon, Texas City Texas.
2. Bicycle Across the United States Bike and Build, Central US Tour, Summer 2005. VA Beach, VA to Cannon Beach, OR.
3. Adopt a Child
4. Travel to Central and South America
5. Spend a day on a real operational shrimp boat.
6. Renovate a historic home or build our own home. (depends on if we settle urban or rural. and if the Andy man is game for it. ha!)
7. Write a Book.
8. Become conversational in another language
9. Finger pick a beautiful song on the guitar
10. Do a long hike - Appalacian Trail? Who knows. Something like that.
11. Go to Alaska
12. Wash someone's feet. June 7, 2008. Our wedding day! And still washing... :-) (John 13:1-16)
13. See U2 in concert
14. Own a business. either a coffee shop or a bookstore.
15. Own a house that is powered completely by either solar panels or a windmill.
16. Be a Collegiate Rower/Row competitively at the Head of the Charles Rowed 2002 - 2006. Head of the Charles competitor in 2003, 2004, 2005. AWESOME.
17. Deep fry a turkey
18. Learn to Scull with skill. (Row a single)
19. Adopt a dog that worships the ground I walk on. :-) Adopted Nellie in August 2009.
20. Ski/Snowboard in Colorado or New England.


Do any of you out there have a bucket list? Any of you done anything on my list?